I am 26 years young and I have treacher collins syndrome. I live my life as if there is nothing wrong with me.?

Since i was born in to this world. I have been told there is nothing wrong with you, You are as normal as the next person. So thats how Iv been living my life. Believing in the lies of deception, If i am normal then why do i walk in the mist of the world and feel so alone. I have had more jobs then i can count much less remember all of them. As soon as i get to the last two weeks of my ninety days they let me go. Even though I did my job probably better no better than the last person. I have been trying to get out on my own since I was 18. Now here it is i am now 26 years young and still living with my mom. About 3 years ago I met someone who I fell for year and a have later. She was my heart, I would have moved mountains for her rock by rock pebble by pebble. But like all the rest she couldnt deal with it like i thought she could. I can deal with having all eyes on me cause that how it has been my hole life. People starring and rubber necking just to see something that is different from them selves. I feel like a one hit wounder. Since she is gone and i am alone again it has been really hard. especially since my hearing aids broke and have no money to get them fix. Now I walk in the mist of the world and i can barely hear you talkn. I have never really had to deal with not being able to hear cause i have alway had a hearing aid. So now my thought are just floating around and i just pull myself in or surround myself with family and friends. But again they have never had to deal with my hearing problems either. i feel so alone, I have begun to thing of way to kill myself but I am a God fearing man but as the days go on and Im missing her and dealing with not being able to hear. those very thoughts are geting louder. please some one help help is there a free clinic i can check myself in and deal with these issue.